


Remembrance and Renewal

by JulesHawke



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Moving On, N7, N7 Day, Other, Post-War, Remembrance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8509849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulesHawke/pseuds/JulesHawke
Summary: The Reapers are destroyed, the world is rebuilding and life moves on. But there is still time to take a moment to remember, reward and move forward. Shepard has that duty now and it's a responsibility she doesn't take lightly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> N7 Day has been and gone and thinking about what N7 means and what the Mass Effect games meant to me gave me this idea. I hope you enjoy.

The collar caught on rough, scarred skin, pulling and itching. Running her finger around the edge didn’t help and Shepard sighed. It had been a while since she’d worn her dress blues but today they were the only appropriate clothing. Shrugging her shoulders in the hope that the jacket would settle she turned to the mirror for a final once over.

The burn scars on her face were almost gone, the therapy Chakwas had insisted on worked well. Once she wouldn’t have bothered, but after the war when Hackett had tasked her with running ICT the idea of looking like a monster in front of new recruits didn’t sit well. Her friends told her having half her face and neck gouged and red didn’t matter, she’d lost it saving the galaxy and she should think of it as a mark of pride. To her it just looked ugly.

Short hair had benefits she’d never considered. She’d always worn it long, tied up in a regulation bun out of the way. She liked the way it sat now, it had grown back slowly and tended to fly away but it looked good and took little to maintain. Lifting her arm to smooth it down she stopped and stared at the cybernetic limb that replaced her own.

To look at it no-one would realise it consisted of polymer and metal. It even grew hair and got goose bumps. But she knew, and while she didn’t feel lesser for it the fact that it wasn’t real sometimes played on her mind. She would often feel phantom pain as if her own arm still existed. They told her it would pass but how long that would take they didn’t say.

Her maudlin thoughts dragged her down, she had to stop. Blowing out a breath she reached for her cane just as the door opened.

“Are you ready, Admiral?”

She scowled and Joker laughed as he stepped towards her. “I can still break your bones you know.”

“You’ve been threatening me with that since we first met,” he snorted and pushed his cap back on his head.

“I’m glad to see you’ve at least put a more formal cap on.”

His sudden change in demeanour surprised her.

“Today is important. It deserves respect.”

“Yes it does.” She stepped forward and took his offered arm. “Let’s do this.”

He took his time, keeping pace with her as she limped beside him, her hip still not healed from the latest round of rebuild surgery. It seemed strange that their positions were reversed, she had always walked slower for him.

“Thank you, Jeff,” she met his eyes and he nodded. “I appreciate your support today.”

“I’m always here when you need me.” He squeezed her hand where it rested on his arm.

“Yes, you are.”

Together they walked the corridors that had become her second home. The Normandy would always be her first but the ship had a new Commander and while she hated giving it up she knew it would be in very capable hands. Even Joker had accepted the change of command without fuss. It said a lot about the respect he had for the man taking her place.

“How are you coping with Kaidan in command?”

“He’s definitely not you, but he’s settled in okay. Lets me do my thing like you did.” He grinned at her and she smiled, “he did learn from the best though.”

“He deserves it and the Normandy is the perfect ship for a Spectre with his hands full trying to help the galaxy recover.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he scoffed. “Bet you miss it though.”

“Hell yeah, but I’m not the soldier I used to be, this is a better place for me now.”

“Give you another twelve months and I bet you’re back to where you used to be. You pretty much died, again, but look how far you’ve come in the last year, there will be no holding you back soon.”

“It’s nice to know you have confidence in me.”

“Always.” He straightened up as they reached the door that would lead outside. “Ready?”

“No, but lead on.”

The door slid aside and she sucked in a breath as she stopped dead. The training ground was packed, the drone of muted voices trailed off as she stepped forward onto the stage. When Hackett had suggested they do this she hadn’t expected him to go all out. She’d thought it would be a quiet ceremony with a few invited guests. There had to be at least one thousand people, maybe more, crammed into the ICT central court.

Hackett watched her from his seat at the back of the stage, his nod of greeting and proud smile making her straighten just a little further. Looking down she found the faces of the graduates and recruits looking up. There were six N7 graduates, the first since the war ended, a good start to rebuilding the ranks. The others were at various N levels with some only arriving last week to start on the path to the top.

One face in particular had a smile she would never tire of seeing. James Vega had come a long way from the lieutenant she met two years prior, his new rank of Commander would sit well on his shoulders. He’d worked tirelessly to reach this point and had been determined to make her proud. He still loved to flirt and more than once his fellow students had been flabbergasted to hear him talk to her so casually when they were off duty. But they’d been through hell and back together, he had the right.

Behind the recruits sat the special guests. Front and centre were the people who had become her family, those who had become crew of the Normandy and her team, a mix of races that proved they could work together. They had more reason than anyone to be here today and every one of them deserved to sit in the front row. Not everyone could make it but those that did looked up at her with love and respect.

There were others there too. Kahlee Sanders, General Coats and the officers who had stood by Anderson on Earth as it bore the brunt of the war. Every one with a story to tell and a memory of someone dear to their hearts. Beyond them were the family and friends of the recruits, Alliance soldiers and staff and representatives of the multiple worlds they had helped to save. And of course reporters, each one vying for the best shot or best sound recording.

Joker squeezed her hand as he stepped back and she placed her hands on the sloped surface of the podium. The embedded screen flickered to life but no words scrolled over it, she hadn’t written anything down, everything she wanted to say came from the heart and she wanted it to sound genuine. Clearing her throat she looked out at the crowd, the expectant atmosphere washing over her like a wave on sand. She tried not let it erode her confidence.

“Today we come together as one, to remember, to celebrate, to be together on a day that signifies how much we’ve lost, how much we’ve gained and how much further we can go.” She saw one or two puzzled faces in the crowd and her lips curved up in a smile. “No, I did not start by listing those who are here today, their positions, ranks or occupations. None of that matters in this moment because this day is so much more than who we are or what we do.” She paused to let her words sink in before continuing on.

“Before me stands a group of people who have worked hard to reach the highest rank of the ICT, the coveted rank of N7. This is not something they or anyone who already has that rank take lightly. It’s not just a letter and a number. It’s a dedication, a promise to stand in defence of everything humanity holds dear, to lead, to protect, to bolster the morale of those in doubt.

“They wear the black, white and red with pride. They stand up to be counted when they’re needed most, they take on the tasks that others can’t. They will give their lives without hesitation,” she grinned before adding, “speaking from experience here.” A rumble of laughter rippled across the crowd as she continued. “And they stand on the shoulders of those who have come and gone before. Those we are here to commemorate and remember, to honour and thank for their selfless sacrifice.”

Tears burned and she blinked rapidly to force them away, her fingers gripping the podium as she trembled.

“Someone once told me that Spectres are born, not trained. I believe the same applies to N7s. To enter the ranks of N school is an honour, to reach any number is something to be proud of but to earn that 7 … there is no other feeling like it.

“I stand here before you as a member of that elite group, as someone who dedicated their life to protecting others, to being the first on the field and the last to leave. But I would never have considered it if it wasn’t for one man. He showed me what it meant to be a good soldier and taught me to believe in myself, convinced me that I had what it took to wear that badge of honour.”

“Thank the gods for that.” Someone yelled and subdued laughter echoed around them.

“That same man gave himself willingly to protect Earth and those on it. He had the chance to leave, to head to safety, instead he stayed, to lead those left behind in the defence of humanity’s birthplace.”

She swallowed hard, a single tear rolled down her cheek but she refused to brush it away. Covering her emotion with a sip from the glass of water by her hand she forced herself to continue on.

“Admiral David Anderson was a soldier. If you tried to call him a hero he would scoff and laugh it off. He never asked for thanks and always waved away praise, always believing that he only did his job like any other soldier. He was a leader of men, a strong dependable warrior who saved dozens of lives, never hesitating to stand as a protector. I am what I am today because of him, I know there are many more out there still standing because of him and we had an Earth to come back to because of him and those who stood beside him.

“We owe him a debt that can never be repaid.” She scoffed a laugh, “he would never see it that way. But those of us left behind know just how much his actions mean and in honour of a humble man we have created two things. One is the Anderson medal, for duty above and beyond and outstanding dedication. The other is something a little more personal. David Anderson might have been an admiral, a soldier and a warrior, but he was a true N7. He stood for everything we aim to be. I am honoured to be the one to unveil the Anderson Memorial Garden right here at ICT.”

Off to the left a wall vanished as the holo emitters shut down. What had once been a solid slab of marble became a carved likeness of Admiral David Anderson, dressed in regular fatigues, tossing off a casual salute with a half smile on his face, and so lifelike she gasped. Showing him in such a relaxed pose, standing atop a smooth, arch of stone with the names of every N recruit who had died in service carved beneath, befitted the man. The artist had truly captured everything about him and a lump formed in her throat as she struggled to hold back tears.

As one all military personnel stood, turned towards him and saluted, including Hackett and Shepard. They held the pose for several moments before settling back into position. Everyone else applauded loudly and the reporter’s cameras flashed. It took her some time to find her voice.

She glanced down at the latest N7 graduates and smiled through her tears. “You guys have a lot to live up to.” Some laughed, others nodded and agreed. “And with that said it’s about time we welcomed you into the family. Stand proud and stand fast.”

She stepped back and saluted, receiving one in return. With a nod she turned to take a seat so Hackett could take over, while not N7 he was the most respected man in the Alliance, Anderson would have agreed with her choice.

“Admiral, please wait.” Hackett waited for her to stop and turn towards him. Turning forward he addressed the crowd. “It is a great honour for me to be here today, not only to acknowledge a great man and my friend but to be privileged to do this.” He pulled a black box from his jacket pocket and stood side on to the crowd looking at Shepard until she moved and stood before him.

“Admiral Shepard, it is my great pleasure to bestow upon you the very first Anderson Medal. I think everyone here will agree that you are the embodiment of going above and beyond with unwavering dedication to saving humanity, hell, the galaxy as a whole, even when others refused to believe.” He stepped forward, opening the box and removing the medal inside.

Shepard stumbled and he quickly held out his hand to hold her up. Tears rolled down her face and she could see moisture in his eyes as she raised her head. His hands trembled as he pinned the medal to her jacket, the platinum, gold and silver woven wreath around a cut out, stylised letter ‘A’ catching the sun and sending rainbows around the stage. Stepping back he saluted and she did the same.

“Congratulations, Admiral.”

“Thank you sir.”

She needed to sit down. Emotion and exhaustion fought for control as she slid into the seat beside Joker. She’d known about the medal but never expected to receive one, she’d just been doing her job.

Joker nudged her shoulder and smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Flight Commander Jeff Moreau,” Hackett wasn’t finished and Joker turned his head so fast Shepard heard it crack. “Please step forward.”

Joker glanced from Hackett to Shepard and back again before pushing to his feet. Shepard’s smile widened at the stupefied look on Joker’s face as he stood before Hackett.

“Anderson always said you were the best of the best. Shepard has always said she couldn’t have done what she did without you. She tells me you’re a major headache,” he chuckled at Joker’s eye roll, “but you’ve definitely gone above and beyond and your dedication is unquestionable. I think Anderson would be more than pleased to see you receive this medal.”

Joker gaped as his collection of medals grew by one more, this one though held special meaning and he touched it reverently as it settled against his chest. He still seemed in shock as he returned to his seat.

“Congratulations,” Shepard nudged his shoulder and chuckled.

“Did you know about this?” He stared at her through wide eyes.

“Yep, recommended you for it.”

“Before we get to the N7 graduates I have three more medals to present,” Hackett continued, calling Dr Chakwas, General Coats and Garrus Vakarian to the stage.

Shepard and Joker watched in silence as they were presented with Anderson medals. Their surprise turning to pride as they accepted the honour.

“And now we get to the second part of why we’re here today,” Hackett stood proudly before the crowd and Shepard knew she’d made the right decision asking him to introduce the graduates. “Admiral, if you will.”

Shepard stepped up beside him as he looked back to the recruits.

“Today you join the ranks of the elite, a special brand of soldier, standing side by side with heroes and legends. Take pride in your achievements, enjoy this moment because it only gets harder from here.” The few N7s in the crowd laughed softly and Shepard nodded in agreement. “You will get the best of assignments, the best gear, the best of everything the Alliance can give, but you will be expected to give your best in return.”

One by one he called them to the stage, shaking their hand before Shepard stepped forward to pin the N7 badge on their chests. The badge gave them strength, every graduate pulling their shoulders back and standing more erect as they left the stage. Shepard understood the feeling, understood the pride in their eyes and the joy in their hearts.

Vega was the last graduate called. Pinning his badge meant so much to Shepard, she’d watched him grow, helped him along the way and now she got to see him shine. His eyes glistened as he saluted and she didn’t think he could seem any bigger but he seemed to grow in stature as he stepped back, spun on his heel and returned to his seat.

Then they were done. The crowd wandered around the Anderson memorial, reading the names,, wandering the landscaped paths, some taking a moment to touch the wall before moving on. Others joined family amid the recruits, sharing their happiness. The crew of the Normandy gathered off to one side, Shepard leaning on James as he helped her from the stage.

“Nice speech, Admiral,” Kaidan moved to her other side and offered his arm as James became the centre of attention and they gave him space.

“Thank you Admiral,” she laughed at his grimace. “Don’t like command?”

“Command’s fine, just don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the title.”

“I hear ya,” she squeezed his arm. “How’s it going?”

“Fine, I’m enjoying it, and it’s not my first command so I do have some experience, just don’t tell Joker, he’s under the impression I need his help, he’s constantly giving me advice, telling me how you did it. I’d hate to burst his bubble.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” she leaned in and whispered. “Council giving you any problems.”

“Strangely no, they seem more than eager to help rather than hinder.”

“They know they owe us.” She raised an eyebrow at his frown, “what, they do, we can hold that over them for years.”

“If I didn’t know you better I’d be worried.” He shook his head with a laugh. “How do you like running ICT?”

“It’s different, but it’s good. The new recruits don’t know how to talk to me but they come round.” She sighed and glanced to where James and Garrus were comparing medals. “I’m going to miss having James around to stir them up.”

“So no pity for me having him on the Normandy.”

“I think you’re lucky, he’s a good soldier. Besides you should feel honoured, he had his choice of assignments.”

“Oh, I do,” he lowered his voice, “I just don’t think he needs to know that, at least not for a while.”

She watched as Garrus walked towards them, his mandibles pulled in tight as he stopped before her.

“Did you know about this medal, Shepard?”

“Yep.” She nodded and he scowled as much as a turian could. “Hey, you earned it. Besides, it matches the ones you got from the Primarch.”

“Hmmm, don’t remind me.”

“Hey, Lola, I think we can get there now.” James came up beside her and held out his arm.

Taking the lead they led everyone towards the memorial, the crowd had thinned as they headed inside for refreshments. Those still lingering stepped aside as their group approached, some taking pictures as they passed.

Stopping before the memorial they stood beneath the man who had placed their feet on the road to this moment. His smile seemed to shine and Shepard had no doubt he would be proud.

“A-ten-SHUN.” James said, snapping to attention and raising his hand in salute.

Everyone followed his lead, eyes moist as they shared a minute of silent respect. Eventually they all relaxed, each with their own thoughts. The others began to move away, there were drinks to be had and no doubt there would be lots of laughter as they enjoyed being together again. James and Joker stayed beside her as she moved forward and brushed her fingers across his name on the N7 list of the dead.

“Thank you, for everything.”

A warm breeze blew across her face, stirring her hair and making her smile.

“I think he heard you, Lola.” James moved forward and offered his arm, Joker doing the same on her other side as he took her cane.

Two men who meant the world to her offered support, which she took thankfully and leant on them as they walked. Once it would have been unthinkable to appear so vulnerable but she trusted them both to cover her weakness around others

It had been a long day and she wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Knowing that this time next year she would have another batch of N7 graduates heading out into the galaxy made it even better. That was Anderson’s legacy and she wanted to make sure it lived on. N7s were a special breed, and there were more out there to find. She had that job now and she did it willingly, proudly and with sheer determination. That’s what N7s were known for.


End file.
